The lonely SAHM

This topic is a major reason I finally got up enough courage to start a blog. I struggled with it silently for a very long time and felt insecure about letting it get out into the open. When you start a blog you are opening yourself up to basically the entire internet. It wasn't till a few of my fellow mom friends began posting about it openly on social media that I started to validate my own emotions.


If I were to take you all the way back to the beginning this would be an extremely long post and I don't want my message to be lost. Let's just start this past summer when my husband deployed for the first time in his career. As a family we have experienced numerous amounts of TDY's and 48 hour shifts however you can't fully prepare yourself for a deployment. I knew my mental health wasn't in the best place before my husband left but during it was as if everything was intensified. Every emotion I felt seemed to take over my life and it became difficult to be a mother to my children.

When you first have children the thought of being a stay at home mom seems like something straight out of a Disney movie. You picture your kids happily playing outside while you hang up laundry to dry and maybe some Disney creatures scurry beside you. Some moms will continue to go through life with that same mentality but other moms will feel physically trapped within their own home. There is such a huge stigma around mental health but there is especially a stigma around SAHM's. Mother's are made to feel as if our emotions are invalid and how could we possibly feel lonely/depressed staying home with our kids each day.

As I have become more open about my mental health I have begun to find ways of getting myself on the right track to healing. After I would put the boys to bed I would aimlessly scroll Facebook, Instagram and a lot of the time Pinterest. One night I stumbled across a Facebook live video of a girl doing her makeup and I was instantly hooked. Her page is called Beauty by Bianca and I highly suggest looking her up if you are interested in the makeup world. I found if I focused my mind on something, I didn't really have time to sink back down to that dark place. I would practice doing my makeup after I watched the girls complete a certain look. At dinner I began working on new recipes I found on Pinterest because I knew I still needed to be there for my kids and provide them a healthy meal. Because there were some nights I felt so down that we would just head to the nearest drive-thru.


Our Children are NOT the reason we are struggling with our mental health each day. I can't speak for all stay at home mom's but for me personally it's the psychological torture I put myself through. I can be surrounded by my kids listening to them giggle but at the same time feel so lonely. There is no adult interaction or the feeling that you are doing more in your life. My husband is a firefighter which means for 48 hours he is gone and the only interaction I see are in the form of two very rowdy little boys. I love my kids immensely don't get me wrong but sometimes my body and mind crave a life outside the house. I know there are moms reading this and probably thinking to themselves "Why doesn't she get a playgroup together?". Getting out of the house does help but at the end of the day you will still be sitting in bed with all those emotions sneaking back up on just waiting for tomorrow when you have no plans. Not everyday is a down day, there will be days where you feel great like nothing is even happening inside your mind. It is just the luck of the draw.

This post is dedicated to all the moms out there that somedays just feel completely and utterly exhausted. Both physically and emotionally. I want you to know that it may not seem ok but one day you are going to find something that is your coping mechanism or the one thing that recharges your mental health. It may not be makeup, cooking, or watching videos of other people doing stuff but there is something out there. Don't be afraid to reach out to someone. I promise you will feel so much better being more open about your own mental health. I am so thankful I decided to open up and now hopefully become an advocate for others someday. Let's break the stigma. Sometimes it is ok to NOT be ok. We don't have to be perfect 24/7 just because we are moms. Your emotions ARE valid and don't let anyone try to make you feel less than you are. Please feel free to reach out to me with any questions or concerns I will provide contact information below.

                                                                        Much love,
                                                                Mom-ish Chronicles

Facebook: Bethany Shea Brooks
Instagram: @mom_ishchronicles
Email: bethanybrooks0405@gmail.com