Think hippie thoughts
I asked on my Instagram if there were any specific topics anybody wanted to see and this subject was brought to my attention. The question was among the lines of, "how do you stay so calm?". First off every time I hear somebody refer to me as "calm" I'm kind of in a state of shock. Before I had my boys I did see myself as a very calm down to earth person. I was very much a loner in high school and mainly just stayed to myself. If I wasn't working, on a date with my then boyfriend I was probably chilling in my room listening to Panic! at the Disco on repeat. Yes I just used the word chilling.
Now that I'm a mother of two boys I don't feel as calm especially when I spend most of my days trying to tame these wild beasts. When my youngest began crawling/walking I honestly felt like all I did was scream 24/7 and I felt like such a terrible mom. I was so worried about my house looking perfect and what people would think of me if I went out in public with two screaming kids. Last year as a whole family we decided to book a cruise which we did go on this past February/March. When we first booked it I instantly went into anxiety mode and began freaking out about how I would handle the boys stuck in the middle of the ocean. We had an absolute blast! I highly recommend booking one if it is affordable for your family! We ALMOST made it the whole cruise without a major meltdown but our last night Alex had a really rough day and began screaming in our room. A lady a few rooms down from us felt the need to walk past our room and scream at us, "If you would raise your child right we wouldn't have to listen to this". When I say this lady took me to a dark place I don't mean a place of anger. I felt so low. I felt like a complete failure as a mother. Not even 10 minutes later Alex finally calmed down and went to bed. I cried myself to sleep that night.
When we made it back home to New Mexico I made myself a silent vow that I would bring back that calm person I used to be. 4 years as a mom has taught me that no matter how much I yell at my kids, try to discipline them or use any other method it doesn't make a difference. There is still going to be somebody out there that doesn't know my situation or know my kids like I do. Yes my oldest is free spirited and isn't like many kids but that doesn't mean I'm not giving him a 100% of my devotion. I was tired of going to bed each night crying thinking about how much I yelled that day or how much I focused on other tasks and not my children. So what if Susan at the commissary stares at me because my toddler decides to scream because he wants to eat everything I put in the buggy. Yes this is a thing that happens! Joseph loves food. There is a point in our life where we just decide if we want to continue to care what others think or just decide to go with the flow.
When sitting down to type this out I was over run by emotions and decided to take a break to scroll through Pinterest. I stumbled across a few hippie related suggestions in my feed (I guess that's how Pinterest sees me and I'm cool with that) and the quote of one was, "Think hippie thoughts". Such a simple phrase but it can really be a life motto to live by. After reading this I don't want people to think I am a perfect mom that is just super calm and relaxed 24/7. I still have days where I feel like I am failing majorly and letting my anxiety get the best of me. BUT I make that silent vow each day to stop, take a breath and remind myself that my kids are only going to be this age for so long. Soon they will be all grown up and will not be dependent on me everyday like they are now. It's easier said than done but I can handle these moments because I am going to wake up one morning and they will have families of their own. It's a hard pill to swallow as a mom. On one hand we feel so exhausted mentally and physically each day dealing with the chaos our children can bring. While on the other hand we are desperate for them to stay little forever and always need us. Motherhood is a strange thing and can give you some real mixed up emotions.
Know that you are NOT alone. There are mothers out there just like you that think they are failing miserably and can't seem to find their cool. Find a picture or a quote somewhere that can be your happy place. Mine is a little doodle I found on Pinterest (really Pinterest if you want to sponsor a girl hit me up, shamelessly love you and adding this plug in haha) of a old school rainbow and the words, "Take it easy" underneath it. On the days one or both of the boys are absolutely loosing their minds I look at it and remind myself to take a breath. Go grab a bowl of ice cream. Lock yourself in the bathroom. Take 5 minutes to just take a few breaths away from the situation. Hang in there! Everything is going to be ok. You are loved. You are appreciated. You are a mother.
Much Love,
Mom-ish Chronicles
Now that I'm a mother of two boys I don't feel as calm especially when I spend most of my days trying to tame these wild beasts. When my youngest began crawling/walking I honestly felt like all I did was scream 24/7 and I felt like such a terrible mom. I was so worried about my house looking perfect and what people would think of me if I went out in public with two screaming kids. Last year as a whole family we decided to book a cruise which we did go on this past February/March. When we first booked it I instantly went into anxiety mode and began freaking out about how I would handle the boys stuck in the middle of the ocean. We had an absolute blast! I highly recommend booking one if it is affordable for your family! We ALMOST made it the whole cruise without a major meltdown but our last night Alex had a really rough day and began screaming in our room. A lady a few rooms down from us felt the need to walk past our room and scream at us, "If you would raise your child right we wouldn't have to listen to this". When I say this lady took me to a dark place I don't mean a place of anger. I felt so low. I felt like a complete failure as a mother. Not even 10 minutes later Alex finally calmed down and went to bed. I cried myself to sleep that night.
When we made it back home to New Mexico I made myself a silent vow that I would bring back that calm person I used to be. 4 years as a mom has taught me that no matter how much I yell at my kids, try to discipline them or use any other method it doesn't make a difference. There is still going to be somebody out there that doesn't know my situation or know my kids like I do. Yes my oldest is free spirited and isn't like many kids but that doesn't mean I'm not giving him a 100% of my devotion. I was tired of going to bed each night crying thinking about how much I yelled that day or how much I focused on other tasks and not my children. So what if Susan at the commissary stares at me because my toddler decides to scream because he wants to eat everything I put in the buggy. Yes this is a thing that happens! Joseph loves food. There is a point in our life where we just decide if we want to continue to care what others think or just decide to go with the flow.
When sitting down to type this out I was over run by emotions and decided to take a break to scroll through Pinterest. I stumbled across a few hippie related suggestions in my feed (I guess that's how Pinterest sees me and I'm cool with that) and the quote of one was, "Think hippie thoughts". Such a simple phrase but it can really be a life motto to live by. After reading this I don't want people to think I am a perfect mom that is just super calm and relaxed 24/7. I still have days where I feel like I am failing majorly and letting my anxiety get the best of me. BUT I make that silent vow each day to stop, take a breath and remind myself that my kids are only going to be this age for so long. Soon they will be all grown up and will not be dependent on me everyday like they are now. It's easier said than done but I can handle these moments because I am going to wake up one morning and they will have families of their own. It's a hard pill to swallow as a mom. On one hand we feel so exhausted mentally and physically each day dealing with the chaos our children can bring. While on the other hand we are desperate for them to stay little forever and always need us. Motherhood is a strange thing and can give you some real mixed up emotions.
Know that you are NOT alone. There are mothers out there just like you that think they are failing miserably and can't seem to find their cool. Find a picture or a quote somewhere that can be your happy place. Mine is a little doodle I found on Pinterest (really Pinterest if you want to sponsor a girl hit me up, shamelessly love you and adding this plug in haha) of a old school rainbow and the words, "Take it easy" underneath it. On the days one or both of the boys are absolutely loosing their minds I look at it and remind myself to take a breath. Go grab a bowl of ice cream. Lock yourself in the bathroom. Take 5 minutes to just take a few breaths away from the situation. Hang in there! Everything is going to be ok. You are loved. You are appreciated. You are a mother.
Much Love,
Mom-ish Chronicles
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